bravo me…

This afternoon, I was finally motivated to haul the boards from the shelves I was given a few weeks ago out of the erstwhile studio and back into the living room.  A considerable task, as the studio is still frightfully askew.

I did, however, after a couple of hours, complete the construction of the two lovely shelves.  It did take finding the instructions online for me to even attempt it.  I had, as you might know, been given the four uprights, and countless shelves along with a plastic bag filled with all manner of things with which to re-construct those shelves.  

Yes, a simple matter in some cases.  In this case, I was prepared to use bricks to support the boards in a rather haphazard tower of wobbling shelves.  The internet saved me from any disaster well before it had a chance to happen.  

The two large shelves are now on the living room floor on their sides awaiting summoning from the studio manager (me, of course) to slide themselves back down the hall to be used as harbour from the storms for the fabrics.  Can you tell I’ve been watching too much House of Elliot?  I always feel rather stilted in speech when I’ve completed each disc — three episodes on each one.  What lovely scandals and a lot of hoohaa was created in those episodes, not to mention the lovely, and quite useless wardrobe creations.  

I was once interested in clothing design, creating and stitching my own clothing from high school and into college and beyond.  How long since I made anything for myself?  Made a three-quarter length black wool jacket lined with black satin about….. hmmm….. maybe 10 years ago.  Living in Sacramento is not conducive to wearing black wool.  Maybe three mornings or late nights in the dead of winter, but otherwise useless.

Not quite sure how I got to the stage where I am today — creating wall hangings of various and sundry bits and pieces.  Who am I to question?  I merely do as the muse guides when I am fortunate enough to be guided.

Tomorrow morning brings first a cleaning of the kitchen, then completion of the top of the red, white and black piece.  Maybe I’ll even get the batting cut, as well as the backing and borders.  Yes, I said borders.  I will go out to the bead store tomorrow to get some of those red glass square bits that are so shiny when hit by the light.  One kind of bead in the central portion of this piece, along with a bit of stitching in a rather pale sage green crochet thread…. or maybe that will also be red.  I’ll only know when I get to that part.

Heard from the fabric store in Sequim the other day, that they are still expecting me to do a bit of a trunk show while I am up there in Nov/Dec.  A catalyst for creativity!

Going to bed.  Early nights for me have brought on a lovely change in my sleeping habits.  I go to bed when I’m tired, rather than blinking myself awake during those times.  Sleep is good for one, isn’t it?

Here’s the jaunty, haunting bit of jazzy violin from the House of Elliot.  There was some marvelous horn playing during a couple episodes.  

Later, darlings…….

s’been a while….

Right nostril causing me to sniff cause I am too lazy to get tissues.  Grateful that tomorrow is Friday. I’ve worked at least 2.5 hours extra already this week, so I will be able to go home even earlier than usual.  When I finish my 30 hours, I go home.  So when I get home on Friday, I have the rest of that day, Saturday, Sunday, Monday off.  (Yes, always have Monday off — my choice as a 75% time worker.)

Then work Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and off Friday holiday.  So, next weekend will be Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday.  Hey, I could get to like this!  The only disadvantage is that I don’t accrue vacation time and sick leave quite as quickly as working full time….. and, oh yes, I earn only 75% of what I used to earn.  But the payoff is in that extra day off each week.  Mondays are mine.

What will happen to me if/when the furloughs begin?  I don’t know, and do not plan to stop to figure it out until the edict is out.

Now, I am just wondering where I’m headed from here.  Someone told me yesterday that I should just carry on as long as I feel like I am on the right track, and if there’s a blip somewhere (my word, not his) I should stop at that moment and reassess the progress, possibly taking another route from that point.

Basically, I can admit that when all is said and done, I feel quite peaceful and happy once again. There were a few months when it was questionable, but the man thing is behind me — that sounds ominous! — and the obsessive compulsive behavior that propelled me nearly into oblivion has ceased. 

This evening, as I drove into my apartment complex, I felt I was in the ghetto.  This is absolutely the first place I have ever lived where there are lowlifes hanging around every corner.  I rarely come in after dark.  I know, I know….. a grey haired old woman doesn’t interest anyone.  Just the same, I need to feel peaceful, and do once I get inside the apartment.  I think.

I do miss curtains open and windows opened until certain hours.   Ground floor living is kind of a bummer in an apartment complex.  And of course I am a freakazoid about snoopy people whose eyes are drawn to any light in a window.  Fortunately, only those who are well over 6′ tall, and those in apartments with a choice view of my windows (one or two this time of year when the trees are covered with leaves) can see into the living room.  

Used to love throwing open the front and back doors in the old place. It had safety screens, and the windows were quite high from the ground, oh well.  I’m here now, and have been for just over two months.  I can make it another few months.  

Don’t you just hate it when you bite the inside of your lower lip.  I still don’t know how I did it a couple of days ago, but it still bugs me.  

Thinking about sleep takes me to my bed in a moment.  Sleeping better in the past few days.  

Saw a bit of Giulietta Masina in Juliet of the Spirits tonight.  She is one of my absolute favourite actresses.  I would have watched more, but it was in subtitles, and I was doing something that kept me from watching the screen 100% of the time.  Not a good thing when listening/watching an Italian film in Italian.

Surprised to read that she died just 5 months after her husband, Federico Fellini.  What a pair.

And if you don’t know already, Anthony Quinn does not speak Italian!  Isn’t she lovely?  That was a bit of the first film in which I ever saw her.

Good night, friends.

Later………….

freakishly hot….

Ok, friends.  The temp has shot up today.  It is nearly 5:30pm and now 96 degrees F.  We’re supposed to hit a low of 66F at 1am Friday morning, then up again to 94 tomorrow.

Me…. I’m headin for the hills tomorrow afternoon for a little respite from all the workaday world, crap of society stuff.  May not know what’s going on until Monday afternoon when I get back here.  I won’t have a computer, but will have a phone just for necessity (suggested by the people who run the place).  Out in a fairly small cabin not too far from civilization, but far enough to be alone.  I can choose to have a silent retreat, but may want to chat.  My choice.  I will take advantage of their meals even though there is a small kitchen in the cabin…. all vegetarian…. so that I won’t have to cook and clean up.  Best of all, the toilets are indoors.  Love that.  Hate running outside in the middle of the night to take a ……  well, you know.

Best of all, everyone who is there is there by choice.  I’m taking me.  Just me and some writing paper, insect repellent, sun glasses, a hat and a change of clothing, in case I begin to get stinky.  That should not happen, since there will be a shower in the place!

Invited Sam to dinner tonight. Always do that when I go away.  Last supper sort of thing.  Then I will pack my few belongings into a small handbag, put a new pillowcase on my pillow (I do like my own pillow), and be ready to leave from here when I get home from work tomorrow which should be earlier than usual.  Nearly time to get the laundry out of the dryer and take Sam to dinner.  (Whoever asks pays.)

Tomorrow is tamale day.  My folks ordered 2 dozen (two dozen!!!), Sam half a dozen, and I am getting a dozen cheese and jalapeno to put in the freezer for my return.  Yum.

Started watching The House of Elliot, an old English tv thing from the early 90s.  Suggested by a friend, thank you!  Absolutely spiffling!!!  If you haven’t heard an upper crust Englishman or woman say that, you haven’t lived. Have watched only three episodes, and have to wait for the netfleas to send the next disc, as I get only one at a time now.  Really just subscribe to get the instant viewing movies.  Unlimited.  Love it.

Stuff’s ok.  Time for me.

Later…………..

the brain again…

Woke up humming Maybe I’m Amazed.  Who let Paul McCartney into my brain?

So I look for the song, and realize it’s Wings.  What a derk…. didn’t even know that.  

Here’s an old version when I think he really meant it.

And you know what?  I don’t really care why songs were written — who they were written for, or even when in their lives they were written.  All I know is that there are some absolutely phenomenal songs written by JPG and R. Can’t say I love em all, and even listened to a cd the other day — Let It Be — and heard some I had absolutely no recollection of ever hearing.

There are some pleasant surprises left in life.  It was as though they were still together producing stuff for the ages.

Just looked him up…. it’s his birthday today.  Sixty-freaking-seven years old!  Baby I’m amazed.

Later…………….

dreams vs. reality….

This morning…. set up shelf for glazes, determined need for other shelving in studio, went into bedroom (after doing several things in front room) and moved bed into this week’s position.  My feet no longer are pointed at the door, my face is no longer peeking through the blinds wondering if someone outside is peeking in at night.  I placed the television in a fairly obscure position, and may move it into the closet later.  Started watching Moulin Rouge, fell asleep, continued the oddness of the film in a short dream, woke up to the end of the telephone ringing Hey Jude.

An invitation to the home of some friends for a July 4th potluck at their place.  Second invite.  Wonder what time that other one starts.  This one is at noon.  Freakishly hot, I’m sure it will be.  

Of course, I am typing this in semiconscious condition, having also been wakened, oddly enough by noises of kids and a couple of adults outside playing soccer in my precious little greenery area… no not that patio area!

And to top it off, one of them was speaking French.  Quelle bizarre!

That’s all.  Just wondered what it would feel like to write before I woke up totally.

Now I know.

Finally working on that black red and white piece I started before I moved to this place 2 months ago.  Yes, it has been two months, and I’m as unsettled as ever, if not moreso.  Time for art.

Later……..

she’s a — lllliiiiiiiiiive……

Yes, dear ones.  I do live, albeit on my own time, in my own space, and in my own mind (yes, I’m a legend there, too).

So many things to consider.  Last week, after a purchase of some bricks with which to substantiate some wood shelves, and also after taking my son to lunch that afternoon, I decided that spending is grinding to a halt.  Well, I ground it to a halt that afternoon.  Realizing that I was supposed to have X number of $$ in my bank account having moved to less expensive digs, cutting back the minutes on my phone service, having only one major utility to pay instead of two, doing laundry less often (costs only $2.25 to wash and dry a hefty load here at the apartment complex and now I only do it when I run out of underwear — or rather when I’m wearing my last pair of underwear!), not paying the usual monthly fee for pottery class (found a cheaper one), I decided that I would not spend money until the weekend of the 20th.

Of course, this morning I realized that I’m on the last half roll of toilet paper…. and I’m never without toilet paper.  And no, I do not subscribe to the local newspaper!  So, on the way home from work, I bought a six pack. Of tp you silly goose.

I had two tofu pups (hot dogs made of tofu) with two ghastly buns (toasted in the toaster to make them edible), and some homemade iced tea…. used an old gallon jug and plunked 5 or 6 varied bags of tea in it.  I’ve gone off the bottled water thing.  Nice change to plain water, even though plain water is quite the best thing of all some times.

Also consumed part of a “personal” seedless watermelon.  Finally remember which end is sweetest, so save that for last.  I’ve started doing the Oprah thing of not eating after 7:30pm and not drinking after 9:30pm.  Makes life much simpler.

And back to Andrew Weil’s suggestion to me (well, ok, to an audience of med students and doctors last year) to stop eating sugar in all forms except those in fruits.  Milk products have also nearly stopped, and will entirely as soon as I finish the yogurts in the fridge.  One of the most difficult ones to release is the wheat products.  I do remember feeling so much better without them it was grand.  Prevents me from stopping by the burger joint for a veggie burger on the way home.  Sure, pretend it’s ok with a whole wheat bun.  I know better.  So, things have evolved once again.

To top it all, when I got home, I switched on the tv…. rarely do that… and there was Oprah talking about doing the diet.  Not a food one, per se, but a money one.  Wow.  Precognition, serendipity, synchronicity?  Or all of them.  Heard from a family who had been “deprived” in their minds of television, computers, video games, etc. for 7 days, as well as eating in and not cooking more than for that meal.  At the end, they didn’t miss anything. The dad even spent one evening reading to the kids instead of watching a sports game on tv, even after his buddies phoned him to ask how he liked the game.  From a 5 year old boy who turned on the tv the moment he awoke, then played at least 3 hours of video games a day, there were loud moans at the beginning.  Now, he doesn’t even ask to turn on the sets.

Ok.  What am I getting at?  I guess I have been slowly getting sick of my conspicuous consumption.  Perhaps conspicuous only to me, as no one really knows what I do except for me.  I am going to cook with the things that are in my cabinets and fridge, and am enjoying it.  I want to see a week (nearly two weeks) without doing any buying (save for tp and possibly gas for the car, but I think I can squeeze by).

I’ll be back on the 20th if not before to report on my progress.  I thing it takes planning.  I’m looking forward to a two week trip in November to an artist’s retreat.  Have to plan for that.  Breakfast tomorrow morning.  I’ve been taking packets of oatmeal to work and getting a mug of hot water there to mix it with.  No, I’m not ready to eat breakfast at or before 6:30am when I leave for work.  And I take fruit and something else for lunch.  

What does it cost me?  The energy it takes for me to bend over and get stuff out of the fridge.  Wow.  And when it comes time to do some grocery shopping, I will assess what is in the house, and not overbuy.  Goodness. This sounds sensible.  I like it.

Keep me in check, please.

Later…………

Oh yes… I’ve just finished season 5 of Lovejoy.  You really must try it.  

Here’s the theme: